Hello, my name is Viv and I write smut.

Once upon a time, in a faraway place called Texas, a long-time aspiring writer and English grad despaired at last of creating the great American novel. Or any other kind of novel, really. See, although she was really, really good at placing commas, her underplotted, overboiled Russian-tragedy-esque post-modern desconstructed bits of verbiage just weren't working out the way she'd hoped. And who could blame them.

So, desperate for inspiration, she consulted a mystic in a deep cavern by the sea (er, downstairs, doing the dishes).

"It has to be about what you love," the wise man said, slathering on some warm liquid soap and swirling it all over with a sponge. Way his hands were working caught her attention and held it. She licked her lips. Something dawned her on her right then, and it stuck in her mind like sand in a bikini.

Something she loved? Well, that was easy. Our girl loved the hot sex.

So she scuttled into the bedroom (where else?), flicked open her computer, drowned her ears in slinky music, and wrote the most scorching smut she could imagine. And she could imagine plenty.

Finally, too red-faced to read it herself, she e-mailed it to the wise man. After that, he did the dishes quite frequently.

And thus was a Smutstress born.

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That she is me. I'm Viv, and I'm really happy you stopped by.

3 comments:

Amy said...

You rule! Everyone should go buy your story, "Unless" here: www.paper-bag-press.com

Amy Barnes

Cecile said...

That has to be the greatest intro I've ever read. I'm really happy I stopped by, too! Someone in an online group I hang with once said, "Sometimes the sexiest thing a guy can do is the dishes." Obviously this is true for many women! A smutstress. Wonder if I can put that on my resume....

noxhaven said...

A smutstress. That's brilliant, I won't lie. This is a great intro hah. Do you listen to any particular music when writing Smut or what?