Confidence is a slinky bitch. Sometimes she sidles up close, rubbing her warmth all over me, making me feel big. Sometimes she giggles at me and tickles in spots that nobody else even knows are sensitive. Sometimes she makes me laugh out loud and drive fast and belt out songs in my shower and leap off shit that's way too high for safety. And sometimes she sits on her dais and surveys me coldly, untouchable without even having to say so.

Right now, she and I aren't pals. Right now we're mortal enemies.

But I'm not going to stop writing, bitch. You're just gonna have to sit there and watch me.